Gravity

It came as quite a shock when I was in the clinic the other day, that getting a tattoo was part of the preparation process for radiation treatments. Actually, it's five little tattoos marking the area that will be zapped for 15 minutes a day for six weeks. (Oh, by the way, radiation treatments start later this week.) I was really hoping that with my "pathologic complete response" report after surgery that radiation could be avoided altogether, but since the cancer is/was HER2 positive, and in my lymph nodes, radiation is still recommended as part of the overall treatment plan. To be honest, I'm more than a little apprehensive about radiation. It's just one more small step for this woman, but it feels like a giant leap. It all feels like a giant leap. Like I'm on the moon and a mission control room full of doctors and insurance agents are deciding my future, whether I live or die, from thousands of miles away. Each decision they make directly impacts whether or not I'll make it back home, to loved ones, to live life on earth. But here I am today, with my feet on the ground, and about to get zapped with radiation. I very much feel the gravity of the earth AND the situation. God bless them, I have enlisted a few friends to help with transportation to and from the radiation appointments -- transportation, yes, but also for the moral support. (I don't think I've told them that.)

In addition to radiation, the oncologist has added another drug to my infusion schedule, one which has caused a whole new round of side effects, though still not as bad as the chemicals used during the first six cycles of infusion. All of it -- EVERYTHING -- has slowed me down quite a bit -- starting with the port placement last July to chemotherapy to surgery to more infusions and now to radiation -- but I'm making it and doing as much living as I can when I can.

The doctors are pleased with my recovery from surgery and as such, I'm starting to use my arms beyond tiny t-rex motions again, and feel confident and well enough to socialize (on good days), and have a fuzzy selfie to prove it -- proof positive that in between all of the bad, there's a whole lot of good.

Looks like we all went to the same barber! 

To Lose by Winning

Four weeks post surgery, my "social life" consists of doctor visits and not much else. Doctor's orders have severely limited my activity level which is a trial in and of itself for someone who likes to DO stuff. The doctor said not to lift anything heavier than a fork, after which I asked if I could have food on the end of the fork! (The answer was yes.) The instructions are really not to lift anything heavier than five pounds. A half gallon of milk is four pounds, so really, I'm not doing much at all....except browsing the internet....which has gotten me into a little bit of trouble. I can't believe what I'm about to admit and I can't believe that I fell for it.

It's no secret that I enjoy all things vintage. Our home is very modestly filled with furniture found in estate sales, consignment shops, and garage sales. More than once I've "rescued" items from curbside (trash) and refurbished them and or repurposed them. The new term for this is upcycling. So, with that mindset in mind coupled with my limited mobility, the majority of my distractions in hunting and gathering has been on the internet -- the great world wide web.

One can search for very specific items on the world wide web....for instance, vintage and estate jewelry. It can be very tempting to look, for instance on Instagram.....no harm there, remember, I'm restricted from manual labor, but Instagram led to Etsy. Oooh, look at all the pretty vintage jewelry on Etsy! So lovely, but, and this is how the thought process went, I bet I can find it cheaper on eBay. I wasn't even SHOPPING for anything, just looking, but I'm very competitive, and when I saw a too-good-to-be-true auction item for .01 (plus $37.50 shipping),  I bid on it. And won. And got excited and bid on something else....plus $37.50 shipping. And won. And now, I've got two cheap pieces of probably plastic cracker box jewelry due to arrive anyday and I have regrets. Big regrets. Spending $37.50 x 2 is not fair to the lovely friends who have come along side us to support us in grand and small ways during this cancer journey/battle. It's not fair to Reese who works hard every single day taking care of me in grand and small ways.

Reese is, of course, kind, gentle, and forgiving about the eBay purchases, which I hope to return. He understandably doesn't want me bidding on anything else, but his grace towards me after I do something so foolish is one more example of why he IS the Amazing Reese.