Friday, March 15, 2024

The Grey Scale

This fella was sleeping near the bottom of some stairs along Buffalo Bayou in the downtown Houston area, though it seems like it's a scene that could have been anywhere. That's the thing with homelessness, or whatever brand of outdoor living this is. I don't know this guy's story -- I don't know anything about him other than how seeing him there, vulnerable and oblivious, my eye was drawn to the composition and color scheme and the poignancy of his aloneness in the vastness of this city. 



This painting is 24" x 30" oil on cotton canvas. I usually paint on linen instead of cotton, so it's always interesting to see how the paint moves on a different surface as it is applied. There was a bit of a learning curve painting on cotton, which hopefully I'll remember as I have several more cotton canvases that someone gave me to use. I've already started the sketch on another cotton canvas so we'll see how the next one goes. :)

Friday, March 01, 2024

Self Portrait - 2024

Lately, instead of standing at the easel, I've been sitting in this green chair to paint. One day recently, while sitting at the easel, I noticed the harmony of the greenish blue shirt I was wearing, the soft blue of the walls, and the light reflecting onto and bouncing around my hair, and I knew that I had to paint what I saw. So, voila.

Self Portrait - 2024, oil on linen, 20" x 16"

And, it just so happens, over the years, when in between projects, or unsure of my place as an artist, or afraid of starting something new, or about to tackle something new, or any or all of it, I have come back, again and again, to painting my self portrait. It's a bravery exercise. It gets me back in the studio, back at the easel, back to mixing paints. It is a great motivator to shake the sticky cobwebs off my fingers and dust out the underutilized corners of my mind. 

The green chair very closely matches the color of spring happening right now outside the studio window. It's a happy thought.

Friday, January 26, 2024

Heart Health

Edit : Sorry for the confusion -- I was trying to do something on my blog and accidentally unpublished this blog post from January 31, 2012. I'm re-publishing it, but the original, THIS story was from 12 years ago. I guess I'm not as tech savvy as I thought. Oops. Thanks for being understanding. (It's going to really bother me that it's out of chronological order.)

February is heart health month. In that vein, this is the art heart I created for a member of the Circle of Red Society for the Go Red for Women portion of the American Heart Association.


I started working on this last summer, first with a practice sketch, and then on the giant heart itself. The front of the heart is very three dimensional, sort of like a wedding cake, which makes drawing on it rather difficult.


The back is a flat surface; much easier for drawing and painting. It's been a long process, but today it is finally going to its rightful owner. I couldn't be more delighted.

Wednesday, December 27, 2023

More Joan

More Joan, 14" x 18", oil on linen

This commissioned portrait, More Joan is painted from an old black and white (sepia tone) photograph from the 1930's/40's. It is a portrait of a beloved mom/mother in law, before she had any mom responsibilities, when she was in the prime of her youth, full of life and promise. The stillness of the pose seems to be hiding a lively spirit, bursting with life and laughter. The Amazing Reese and I enjoyed living with her for a few weeks, as the painting dried. The more we looked at her, the more enigmatic her expression became. 

In the beginning, it was quite difficult to find the right color values. While struggling with it, I asked for a few photos of this lady's grandchildren to compare skin tones and hair and eye color. Those reference photos were an invaluable tool as then I was able to fully visualize what Joan (probably) looked like as a young lady in the flesh. 

It's my understanding that she lived a life of hospitality, welcoming and encouraging everyone around her to live their best lives, continuing to volunteer acts of service well into her advanced years. May we all be so free with our gifts and time. May we all be more like Joan. 



Monday, May 22, 2023

Meet the Parents



I love these two people. Even though I've known them my whole life, and have loved them forever, I can say for a fact that the sweetest they've ever been was when they came to Houston time and again to care for me when I was going through chemo and assorted surgeries for breast cancer. Dad shopped for groceries and they both cooked all of my favorite foods -- anything and everything to bring me comfort when I was at my most desperate and vulnerable. 

The traits I've seen and appreciated the most from both of them is their gift of hospitality and acts of service. They really work well together as a team when they have a common goal of serving others -- I've been on the receiving end too many times to count. Reese and I are grateful for their example. 

Thanks, Mom & Dad. 

This is 18" x 24", oil on linen.




 

Monday, March 20, 2023

A Mother and Daughter Portrait

On my website, in the about the artist section, I have this written artist statement --

Art is beauty in ordinary moments.

Subject matter for my paintings is propelled by my personal belief that common moments are beautiful and worth capturing in a two-dimensional format. There is a realistic quality to my work, but it is more about a moment, rather than focusing on details. Because my eyesight is bad, my work is slightly out of focus. Even so, the general impression is one of tranquility. I call my style "fuzzy realism".

I love painting figurative work and portraits and prefer working in oils on linen.

It is always a privilege to be commissioned to paint a portrait of a loved one. Capturing delight, beauty, and emotion in an everyday moment is at the core of what I work to portray as a visual artist. 

For my most recent commission, we scheduled a photo shoot so there would be something fresh and current to use for reference photos. It was my first time to visit at length with the mother and I sort of fell in love with her. Which in a way helps, because of out of the dozens of wonderful reference photos from the photo session, four poses stood out above the rest, all of which resonated with beauty and charm. To select the pose to use for this painting, I cut out two 18" x 24" canvas sized pieces of cardboard, and sketched the four poses in thinned oil paint on the front and back of the cardboard. After studying each pose carefully, and weighing the pros and cons of each, I selected my favorite pose. 

Often, what looks good in a photograph doesn't translate well on a canvas. Many times in the past, I have sketched (in thinned oil paint) on the canvas and wiped off repeatedly until one sketch prevails. Sometimes the sketches don't completely wipe off, and then I end up starting a painting with a muddied canvas. By sketching on cardboard first this time, I was able to avoid the muddied canvas phase of the process and select the pose that stood out above the others -- the pose that represented the sweetness of this mother and daughter relationship -- and the pose that looked the best in an 18" x 24" format. This was that pose. 

A Mother and Daughter Portrait, oil on linen, 18" x 24"

For this painting, I changed the color of the mother's top from black to a red violet. Also toned down the distracting, busy background so that the viewer could focus on the subjects rather that darting all over the canvas to look at wrought iron fences and barren winter shrubs.

Edit: This is what the daughter in the portrait, Dovie, posted about the painting and her mother. 

This is a portrait of legacy that feels apt during Women's History Month. Sarah Hazel recently captured this beautiful moment between me and my mom as my gift for her upcoming 80th birthday. I can't stop looking at it.
A few months ago, I was asked to write about two people I respect or admire most. I wrote about my mother and my grandmother.
My mom - Helen Marie Vaughan Keprta - worked for the same company for 30 years, and would tell you today that her very best friends in life were made at work. She was trusted immensely by everyone from the receptionist to the CEO, often referred to as "Dr. Keprta" (as both a psychologist and as an quasi-MD who typically gave the real docs a run for their money when it came to diagnosing her colleagues' ailments). My mom worked her whole life to give me every opportunity at a fulfilled, happy life. She made many sacrifices, only some of which I'm aware. She taught me my work ethic and the value of a hug. And, she learned a lot of what she taught me from my grandmother.
My grandmother was a strong woman in the prime of her life in the 1930s when she divorced her first husband (for reasons) in an era when that was not the done thing. After that, she made her own way by starting a boarding house business, where she met her future love, my grandfather. She taught her children to be independent, how to stand up for yourself when nobody else is standing up for you and how to love others well.
I am eternally grateful to them. I am humbly conscious that I stand on tall shoulders as I reach every new milestone or achievement in life, personally or professionally. And in this moment, I'm mindful that every life I touch through my own life and work is a product of their legacy as well, at least to some degree.

Saturday, March 11, 2023

At the Masur Museum of Art

The Amazing Reese and I drove six hours from our home in Houston to Monroe, LA to attend the opening reception of Masur Museum of Art's 60th Juried Competition Exhibition a couple of days ago. 

Arriving at the Masur Museum of Art for the opening reception (!!!)

The juror for the exhibition was Jovanna Venegas, assistant curator at San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. She was well spoken and gracious, and took time out of her busy evening to chat about my work and visit with my sweet parents. 

Juror remarks by Jovanna Venegas to a well attended reception


My parents really enjoyed chatting with Jovanna. 

One way that I can grow as an artist is to get better about talking about my work. The viewing public is naturally curious and want to know the inspiration behind the painting(s), and maybe it's all right to say that I don't even know why some images appeal to me more than others, and why I paint them. (?) Is it appropriate to say that maybe some of what I select to paint is based on intuition? Suffice it to say that talking about myself/my art is a work in progress.

Visiting with a new fan of my work

When talking with Jovanna, I wish that instead of me fumbling around for things to say, that I had thought to ask her what resonated with Three Girls that she selected this piece for this show. 

Maybe I could have said that I love painting all kinds of people in all walks of life (?) 

THE #1 reason we drove 6 hours to attend the reception was to meet Jovanna Venegas of the San Francisco MoMA, meet the curator of collections of the Masur Museum, Stefan Nodarse, with the added bonus of meeting various board members of the Masur. It was totally worth it.






Friday, February 24, 2023

The JOY of Eating Ice Cream

oil on linen, 16" x 20"

Oh, the joy of eating ice cream -- does life get any sweeter than this? This is one of those paintings that has been on the back burner for a while, that I wanted to finish before starting my next commission, kind of like making sure that my fingers, heart, and spirit are nimble enough to start the next thing. It is 16" x 20", oil on linen. 

In other news, yesterday was the opening of Masur Museum's 60th Annual Juried Competition exhibit in Monroe, Louisiana where one of my pieces, Three Girls will be on display until May 6th. Of the 1300 submissions for the competition, Three Girls was one of 72 works selected for the show. It was juried by Jovanna Venegas, assistant curator for the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. (!) The opening reception is on March 9th from 5:30-7:30pm. The Amazing Reese and I will be there for the opening reception and welcome anyone to join us if you happen to live anywhere near Monroe, Louisiana. (I'm so delighted that my precious parents are going to drive over from Jackson, Mississippi to attend the opening!)

Three Girls, oil on linen, 24" x 36"


Sunday, February 12, 2023

The First Picnic

Our church is making a concerted effort to be a good neighbor to the surrounding community. One of the ways we're doing that is through an initiative called the "traveling table" -- where church members take an actual picnic table to a nearby apartment complex, and host a meal for the residents there. 

The Amazing Reese and I are on one of the teams going to a specific complex with a traveling table (that our group designed and painted -- see the photo below) and sharing a meal with the people who live there. The idea is to have a few "picnics" over a period of a few months and get to know the people there with no strings attached. 


Our first picnic was great. The traveling table was laden with an abundance of food. The area around the picnic table, near the manager's office, was quiet at first. Gradually, though, residents came out of their apartments and joined us for an hour or so. We all chatted, and ate, and played cornhole. It was fun. We had our second picnic last weekend, comprised of assorted crock pots of chili, cornbread, and smores by the fire pit for dessert. We'll start planning our third picnic soon. 

In conjunction with the literal picnic table that we painted, the church commissioned a painting (by yours truly) to go along with the "traveling table" theme. The idea is that the church wanted to have a visual reminder for us to live lives of hospitality toward our neighbors. 

This is how I interpreted that concept.

The title of the painting is The First Picnic. It's large, 30" x 40" and oil on linen.  

It just so happens that the first place our painted traveling table went was to the apartment complex on the other side of the wall that is depicted in the painting (behind the trees). 


The First Picnic, oil on linen, 30" x 40" 

There is a place waiting for you at the table, and extra food in the basket. All are welcome.

Editor's note: I've been sitting on this story for a while. The painting itself took a few months to complete, and then I had to wait to say anything about it until the painting was officially "unveiled" at church, which happened this morning. 

It was a challenge to paint -- in essence, it's ten portraits and a landscape with a little still life thrown in for fun. The people in the painting graciously agreed to pose for me one day after church last fall at which time I took over 100 reference photos. It took a while to sketch. And for continuity and harmony in the piece, I changed the colors of some of the clothes. 




Monday, February 06, 2023

The Local

Every now and then, a friend will post a photo on social media that I'm sure will make for an interesting painting. This was one of those photos. My friend Lorna with Atlas Adventure Trips took the pre-pandemic reference photo several years ago while on a trip in Purmamarca, Argentina. She graciously let me use her image for this painting. 

The monochromatic colors in Lorna's original photo intrigued me. The dirt and rocks in the mountains surrounding the town (according to Google images) are these same colors. It's almost as if the old man is made of the same clay and rocks, which of course reminds me of the latter part of Genesis 3:19....for dust you are and to dust will you return, which, incidentally, is why I don't dust -- it might be someone I know. ;)

The painting is 16" x 20" oil on canvas. 


 

Friday, February 03, 2023

The Neighbor

The Neighbor

As I've been cleaning house and going through old files and documents, emails and photos,  I rediscovered this photo taken at a friend's wedding over 10 years ago, which had been saved to use for a painting some day. Our friends have three kids now and a middle schooler to boot, so it's safe to say that this painting has been sitting on the back burner for a while. Honestly, this would never have come to fruition had I not been going through dusty old files and throwing things away left and right. 

It's 14" x 18", oil on linen.

Thursday, November 17, 2022

Recalled to Life (!!!)

It is with great pleasure and delight that I officially repeat what my oncologist said at my appointment earlier this week. Without going into the nitty gritty, after initial pleasantries, she said, "It's been five years and your cancer hasn't returned. You're cured." I was like, "What?" (Did I hear her right?) She then explained that with my type of cancer, HER2 positive, if it hasn't returned within the first five years, that there's a 99.9% chance that it will never come back. She then pointed out that it has been five years (as if I didn't remember - ha!), and that for all intents and purposes, even though they can never say 100%, she repeated that 99.9% is pretty good odds, and therefore, "You're cured!" 

Amen! Halleluiah!

As the oncologist was leaving the exam room, I shouted, "I'm alive!", to which she quickly replied as she turned around at the doorway, with a smile on her face, "and thriving!" Then she came back into the room, gave me a big hug, and said, "You're a different person than you were five years ago. I've seen you grow a lot. I'm really proud of you. Congratulations." 

Me: 🙂

(Shout out to my therapist for helping me learn how to deal with the trauma associated with a breast cancer diagnosis.)

After my appointment, I told everyone at the grocery store -- "I'm cured!" All week long, coming and going, out and about, I tell people, "I'm cured! I'm cured!" There are smiles, congratulations, and high fives galore -- all over the city. 

It has been a long five years, full of hardship and pain. Just this week, saying "I'm cured" out loud, everywhere, all the time, even at home to the dog, ("I'm cured, Daisy!") is further helping to change my psyche back from a place of uncertainty, to one of peace. Words are so powerful!

As we enter this season of Thanksgiving and holiday (and my 59th birthday) celebrations, may I be so bold as to ask y'all to offer a prayer of thanksgiving on my behalf, as I celebrate being cured and "recalled to life". 

Thanks be to God. Amen.


Monday, October 24, 2022

Remembering Last Summer

Sailing in Terherne, oil on linen, 24" x 36"

The Amazing Reese and I had an adventure last summer -- to the Netherlands and France! (It was our first time in Europe.) We were completely charmed by the old world, welcomed with open arms by everyone, and found friends on every corner. We toured museums and churches, ate like locals, and walked everywhere. At the tail end of our trip, we stayed a few nights at our friend's sister's home in the Friesland province of the Netherlands, which is where this painting gets its inspiration. It's a wonderful place and I'm ever so grateful that we got to go there. 

This painting was a bit of a struggle to complete -- it was very complicated to do. The light is somehow subdued and brilliant at the same time that far north, and, well, different from what I'm used to painting here in Texas. It was on and off my easel for months as I tried this and that to get it just right. It's always a good day when the people for whom the place is significant actually like the painting, and I'm happy to report that that is the case here. 



 

Monday, October 10, 2022

Never Give Up

The phrase "never give up" always reminds me of the movie Galaxy Quest. The title character in the film, who is a parody (homage?) of Captain Kirk in Star Trek and played with great enthusiasm by Tim Allen, when faced with seemingly insurmountable odds in the quest to save the galaxy from destroyers of the universe, often in the form of space aliens, always uses the catchphrase, "never give up -- never surrender". What is more invasive (insurmountable odds) to the human body (our personal galaxy) than treacherous (space alien) cancer cells? May we all be reminded to never give up -- never surrender! 

The magic five year cancer free mark is coming up for me in December! (After that I only have to see my oncologist once a year until I get to the ten year cancer free mark.) In spite of the struggle, I'm grateful every single day to still be alive. Never give up! Never surrender! 
Now, to the announcement -- in conjunction with October being breast cancer awareness month, Chemotherapy Self Portrait was selected for and included in an online group exhibition called Cancer: Never Give Up 2022 with Gallerium Art. Also, this is probably the last time I will submit this work for exhibition because it's such a vulnerable piece. 

Here's a link to my artist profile affiliated with the exhibit. 

Wednesday, May 25, 2022

One Week Later.....Still Processing....and Fangirling

Alison de Lima Greene, me, and Three Girls 

Meeting Alison de Lima Green, the Curator for Modern and Contemporary Art at Museum of Fine Arts, Houston, and the juror of the VAA Open Exhibition, titled "Other Stories About Who We Are" was a transformative event for me. Not only did she select my work for the exhibit, we had a delightful, albeit brief conversation at the opening reception. It was a brief conversation because, even though the art was the star of the show, everyone there knew that the real star was Alison de Lima Greene, and everyone wanted to talk to her. She made it a point to meet all of the artists in attendance, for which I was grateful. Admittedly, I'm fangirling here -- the opportunity of having her see my work was the only reason I entered the show. That she selected it -- priceless! AND, her juror remarks were so eloquent and well said -- if only someone had recorded it! (Maybe they did -- anyone?) 

In her juror statement in the printed exhibition pamphlet, she says that the works in the exhibition were "chosen for their visual wit, their emotional engagement, and that almost ineffable quality of being able to capture and trigger one's imagination." (!!!!!)

As the night was coming to a close, and she was getting ready to leave, I realized that I didn't have a photo with her, and she graciously acquiesced to the above photo, even "curating" the photo by directing the photographer (daughter Anna) on where to position the camera angle to get the best shot. She's a genius. 

Sigh. Maybe someday we'll be friends. (Alison -- want to grab a coffee sometime?)

Another moment of fangirling -- on an Instagram post where I had posted a photo of the painting and was (excitedly) making an announcement that it was selected by Alison de Lima Greene, artist Marta Chilindron "liked" it. For y'all who don't know, Marta Chilindron is a big deal. She is a sculptor with works in museums across the country and world, including a piece in the new Kinder building at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston. And she "liked" my post! Eeeeee!

Sigh. Maybe someday we'll be friends. (Marta -- want to grab a coffee the next time you're in Houston? I'd love to meet you.)

With Natalie at the #Obamaportraitstour

Lastly, over the weekend, my museum buddy friend Natalie and I went to see "The Obama Portraits Tour" at the MFAH. The two portraits are absolutely riveting -- an extremely well written Paper City article by Leslie Loddeke, in which she explains the symbolism and significance of the portraits, commissioned by Smithsonian Institution's National Portrait Gallery is here. It's well worth the read.

Afterwards, Natalie and I really did grab a coffee (and tea) and have a chat, because we ARE friends. Sigh. Good times. 

Tuesday, May 03, 2022

The Three Graces

It is my pleasure to announce that Three Girls, or The Three Graces was selected by Juror Alison de Lima Greene, the Isabel Brown Wilson Curator of Modern and Contemporary Art at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston, for inclusion in Visual Arts Alliance 38th Juried Open Exhibition. Word on the street is that she only selected 10% of the work submitted for the show, only 50 pieces (!), so, understandably, I was overcome with emotion when receiving the news, and admittedly, choked back a few tears upon hearing it. 

Three Girls, aka The Three Graces, oil on linen, 24" x 36"

It takes a long time for oil paints to really dry, and watching this one settle into what it is becoming has been a delight. It's truly wonderful to see it in person, and to that end, I encourage all of you in the Houston area to see it in person at Sabine Street Studios from May 9th - June 11th. 

Mark your calendars -- the opening reception for the show will be May 18th from 6-9pm. (Juror remarks are usually around 7.) The Amazing Reese and I will be at the opening reception and would be delighted to see you all -- Sabine Street Studios -- 1907 Sabine Street, Houston, Texas, 77007.

Wednesday, April 27, 2022

Youthful Beauty

16" x 20", oil on linen

A dear friend shared a photo of her daughter with me, that the daughter's friend had taken, and said that she envisioned the image as a painting. From one, to another, to a mother, and to me - so many people sharing in the beauty of a simple, captured moment. 

Work began, and as the painting progressed, it became increasingly obvious that something was "off". It was not without calculations and finagling and tweaking of the vanishing point, which the Amazing Reese helped me accomplish by stretching a piece of thread across the canvas, that the painting finally started coming together. 


Finding the vanishing point with a piece of thread

Painting is a mystery. How is it possible to take an idea or an image and convert it to a flat surface? Though I've spent years painting and creating, the finished product still overwhelms me with wonder. 

P.S. I've known the young lady in the painting her entire life -- literally -- even to the point of being in the delivery room when she was born! 

 

Monday, April 18, 2022

Fast Four-ward

There's a beautiful scene in the movie, Big Fish, where the main character, Ed Bloom is recounting the story of his life to his son. He tells of being completely enamored by a young woman he sees across a room. As he walks toward her as all action around him is stopped, beautifully illustrated by even a spilled bucket of popcorn with popcorn kernels suspended in mid air.

They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that's true. What they don't tell you is that when it starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up.

And then, the action in the scene fast forwards. 

My own life is feeling a little bit like that right now. The last few years have been spent almost exclusively concentrating on restoring my health, and now, it seems like time is moving extra fast to catch up, and specifically, in this case, illustrated by having another four of my paintings on display in an art space in Pearland, Texas.

These will be on display through June 3rd at the Vineyard Church Art Gallery, 2905 Harkey Road in Pearland.   

Peonies in a Clear Vase, oil on board, 32"h x 29"w


Lily Pondering, oil on linen, 30"h x 30"w 



Sheer Delight, oil on linen, 20"h x 16"w

 

Perchance to Dream Oak, oil on linen, 30"h x 30"w

The Amazing Reese and I have a previous commitment, and will miss the "meet the artists/opening reception" night this coming Friday, April 22.  










Thursday, April 14, 2022

Opening Reception Recap

Last night was the opening reception for Visual Arts Alliance 38th Juried Membership Exhibition. It was a wonderful reception -- for a Wednesday night, there were a lot of people in attendance -- and the quality of the included work was impressive. It is wonderful to have my work in such good company. 


Studying my painting with juror, Lester Marks -- always interesting to see my work through someone else's eyes

It was so nice to be back in person, though, to be fair, with all things pandemic considered, VAA did an amazing job for their virtual 37th Juried Membership Exhibit back in November 2020. (Girl with Apple was in that show.)

Happy to have had "Martin" chosen for the exhibit by juror, Lester Marks

Though Houston is the fourth largest city in the United States, it often feels like a small town. It was such a treat to catch up with several old friends throughout the evening -- some were fellow artists, and some were friends who showed up on my behalf. Thank you all, or as we say in the South, thank all y'all. 

Delighted to see one of my favorite people -- I love her!

The show will be on display through the month of April at Sabine Street Studios, 1907 Sabine St. here in Houston. 

I'm ever so grateful to be back in the studio, painting, pausing, and painting again. It feels like my soul is waking up a little bit more every day. Alleluia!

Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Martin

It is with delight that I announce that my painting, Martin, was selected by juror Lester Marks for inclusion in the Visual Arts Alliance 38th Juried Membership Exhibition. Martin and I became friends way back when I was just a newbie on the Houston art scene. We don't see each other nearly as often as in the past -- life got big and messy for us both -- but we still pick up conversation right where we left off, as is intimated in Martin's pose in the painting. This is a 14" x 18" oil on linen portrait painting that captures the subject's likeness with complete regard to his intellectually sharp nature and chatty personality. 

Martin, 14" x 18", oil on linen

The juror for this show, Lester Marks (in his own words) serves as the Mayor's Ambassador to the Arts here in Houston, the fourth largest city in the United States. He is affiliated with Houston Arts Alliance, a quasi-governmental agency overseeing the funding of all the arts in Houston. He has been recognized by ARTnews as one of the top 200 collectors in the world, and by Art and Antiques as one of the top 100 collectors in America. 

This painting, along with the other selected member works, will be on view from April 4th - 30th, at Sabine Street Studios, 1907 Sabine Street, 77007, with an opening reception on April 13th starting at 6pm. The Amazing Reese and I will be at the opening reception. Hope to see y'all there.



Wednesday, March 09, 2022

Giving Myself Grace

When I first started painting in my early 40's, there was an immediate jolt to my soul, a connection so strong that I actually started to see life in a different way. That's one reason this blog is named Finding My Glasses, named not only for the obvious reason of my near constant pursuit of looking for my actual spectacles, but also because suddenly I was seeing the world through a lens where colors, shapes, and lines became part of how my world was interpreted on a day to day basis. Since painting in oils was developing into a new skill, there was a huge learning curve, one which I'm continually exploring, and a daily pull and tug to create as much as time and space allowed. 

For the last few years, all of my energies, spiritual, emotional, mental, physical, and creative have been intensely focused on a very basic "struggle" to return to full health after breast cancer, or as full as it can be after breast cancer. There hasn't been much of anything left in this old body and soul to spend any amount of time in the studio....until recently. One of my dear art friends suggested that perhaps it was time to start pursuing art again, and at first encouraged me to tidy up the studio, and then to make a cup of tea or coffee and just go sit in the studio.....say a prayer, and if I'm supposed to pick up a brush that day then I will, otherwise, give myself grace and try again another day. So that's what I've been doing. (For all of the extra sitting time in the studio, I've brought in a more comfortable chair.) This contemplative mindset is also very much in keeping with what my therapist has been nudging me toward -- giving myself grace to sit and not be busy all of the time. It's a BIG change for me.

Early on in my art journey, I decided that, for me at least, it was best to forge my own path so as to not be unduly influenced by anyone else's work. I had read stories of  great artists before me who had destroyed their own work if they saw it was influenced by a mentor or teacher, and I wanted to avoid that step if possible, so, with the exception of one life drawing class at Glassell School of Art, and a three month still life drawing class, I am, in art speak, self taught. Part of what that means is that there is a LOT that I don't know. It often feels like I'm starting at square one. The struggle to convert the idea for the painting, how I see it in my head and dreams, onto a two dimensional surface is real. But what joy is experienced when it all comes together.  This is one of those times! Both self imposed structure and grace have permitted time and strength to work on this painting. It's a 36" x 24" oil on linen that I'm happy to now present. Voila.


The Girls, oil on linen, 24" x 36"


Tuesday, November 09, 2021

Felix


Painting portraits is my absolute favorite of everything I paint. Mixing colors and seeing globs of paint transform a blank canvas into a recognizable human being is thrilling, even when bad eyesight has me scrambling between cheater glasses and a magnifying glass to get everything painted in the right place. Three years olds are adorable -- that's all there is to it -- and are particularly difficult to paint because their features are so delicate and unformed that it's hard to find shadows on their faces to distinguish one area from another.  This portrait was painted for a grandmother who has commissioned me to paint portraits of all of her grandchildren at the charming age of three. 

Thank you to the friend who encouraged me all those years ago to pick up a paintbrush. Thank you to the friend who, when asked, offers gentle and helpful criticism. And, thank you to the grandmother who trusts me to paint her grandchildren. 

This is a 16" x 20" oil on linen. 


Sunday, May 16, 2021

Re-Set

When things go wrong, or right for that matter, the Amazing Reese has a way of putting it all in perspective. He asks, "Do you believe in predestination?" Now, without going down a trail of religious doctrine, Reese's point is do I believe in something beyond my understanding that is guiding how I interact with the world, or conversely, how the world interacts with me? Some people call it fate, or destiny. The idea that some things happen for a reason and sometimes the best thing is to recognize this instead of agonizing over the outcome. I'm mentioning all of this because last week something happened to me for the very first time and it was weird, and disruptive, but ultimately, must have been for good, because no other explanation makes sense. For reasons beyond my understanding, the blog entry that I wrote about my time in Mexico with fellow breast cancer survivors was flagged for removal by google, because it violated their guidelines. (?) Google then re-evaluated the post and said the post was reinstated, but somehow it has disappeared into the great internet abyss, and I'm left with wondering whether to write about my time and impressions of Mexico again, or just leave well enough alone. (?) 

The main reason that I wanted to write about the vacation I just took is that I very much wanted to have a public record of my gratitude for the people who have supported me throughout the last four years as I have crawled, walked, and more recently, run through my breast cancer journey. So many people have contributed in small and big ways -- prayer, notes of encouragement, paying for a house cleaner when I couldn't do my own housework, driving me to appointments, bringing meals, flowers, contributing financially to ease the burden of medical bills, helping me crawl into bed when I was so weak with the effects of chemotherapy that I couldn't even do it myself, loaning (and giving) me books, loaning me passwords so that I could use a Netflix account, loaning me a TV so that I had access to entertainment while recovering in bed, loaning me old movies on dvd, information gathering so that I had access to resources such as the therapist I've been seeing to help me process the trauma of it all, giving me mileage points to buy my plane ticket so that the trip was a blessing and not a burden financially -- there have been SO many people who have helped. me. little ole me. THANK YOU ALL!!!!

So, fully vaccinated, I went on vacation...to Mexico....with fellow breast cancer surviving ladies, and it was lovely. There were 13 of us in total, there was instant camaraderie, and even some fellow HER2 positive breast cancer ladies (four of us.) We compared scars, emotional and physical. We ate together. We reflected together. We relaxed. We shopped. We roamed. We rejoiced and complained. I'm eternally grateful to have had a week to re-set my perspective, reflect on the last few years, and do it with lovely people in a lovely place. 

All 13 of us

P.S. -- the blog entry that I published last week is back! Just using a few extra words here to express my gratitude. 




Tuesday, May 11, 2021

Sent on Vacation


Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

A year and a half ago, I was granted a breast cancer survivor's vacation to Rome through Send Me On Vacation. As those of you who are regular readers of my blog may remember, to pay for the plane ticket, I sold some paintings, and shopped for the least expensive ticket I could find, and bought it. Then, the entire world shut down because of the highly contagious, new coronavirus that was hospitalizing and killing people by the thousands. The trip to Rome was postponed. And postponed again. And postponed again. And again. It has been postponed so many times that I don't even remember. So when the organization sent out an invitation to attend a trip in Nuevo Vallarta, Mexico, I quickly decided that this trip would be a delightful alternative. (On a side note -- two weeks ago, the money for the plane ticket to Rome was finally credited back to our bank account, which has helped subsidize fees and incidentals while in Mexico. For this trip, one of my dear friends donated his airline miles for the plane ticket to Puerto Vallarta. So grateful.) 

Sayulita, Mexico

Last week, through the resort Vidanta's Ambassador program where Vidanta members donate their weeks and rooms to various charitable organizations, in this case, to Send Me On Vacation, a group of us breast cancer survivors (and one uterine cancer survivor) went to stay at the Vidanta resort in Nuevo Vallarta. Four of us were HER2 positive, though I think (?) I was the only HER2 positive, ER, PR negative. Put it this way, at least no one else spoke about that specific breast cancer diagnosis to me. It was interesting to compare notes on our treatments, disease progression, progress (or lack thereof) and recovery. To go from independence and invincibility to relying on others and weakness is difficult even for the strongest among us. It was helpful for me to see and visit with other ladies who had also gone through chemo, radiation, and surgeries and hear about (and see) their scars, whether physical or emotional. 

On our way to another adventure together, vaccinated and covid free.

It was a special blessing to spend time with new friends with whom I formed an instant bond. As beautiful as our surroundings were, in thinking back on the week, my favorite times were spent with these ladies. We took a taxi together into Puerto Vallarta to the south, and Sayulita to the north, and San Vicente to the east to roam the streets, visit the markets, barter for bracelets, sit in the square, and eat a meal (or a popsicle). In San Vicente, where our taxi driver took us to show us his hometown and buy us a popsicle, we were still at the square when a political parade moseyed down the street! I LOVE Mexico!


Thank you to those of you, friends and strangers, who have prayed for and supported me from the very beginning, when I announced my breast cancer diagnosis on this blog almost four years ago. Looking back on that blog entry, I was naive to think that everything was going to be completed within a year -- little did I know or understand. With each day that passes, I continue to progress toward health and my new normal. I'm grateful for an opportunity to have renewed my spirit through this vacation. I'm exceedingly grateful for the new friends I've met. And, I'm grateful for those of you, dear friends, who continue to love, support, and pray for me, scars and all.

Sunset in Nuevo Vallarta, Mexico





Tuesday, February 02, 2021

The Pasture with the Trees in the Background

It's always affirming when one of my paintings strikes a note or stirs a memory with a viewer. In this particular instance, a beautiful soul, my friend Lisa, sent me a charming reason why she was so attracted to this particular painting, which, with her permission, I've included below.  

You won’t believe this.... I grew up on a ranch in Oklahoma, and one of my favorite places to stop with my horse to take a break in the shade was in a pasture that had a small stand of trees like yours on the left and then a couple of other trees to the right. It looks exactly like my spot. I would tie my horse to one of the trees and sit in the shade to eat an apple, a bag of Fritos, and have a soft drink choice of the day; Dr. Pepper, Nehi Grape Soda, or Orange Crush. I love to remember sitting with my back against the tree, feeling the soothing, dry breeze, hearing the rustle of the leaves, sharing my apple with my horse, taking in the brilliant blue sky and all of the greenness around me, and imagining what the future might hold, back when life was uncomplicated. These days, when I have grueling medical tests, I practice mental imagery and go back in my mind to my most secure and peaceful places -- this is one of them.

Our ranch was in the foothills of the Ozarks and the land was emerald green in the summer. The colors in your painting bring the vivid green hues and lusciousness of summers at the ranch in Oklahoma back into my mind. It is very moving that it has an uncanny resemblance – number of trees, the approach I used to make on my horse to that location -- it really looks like my stand of trees plus the two spare ones to the side! My family sold the ranch a while back, but if I ever make it for a visit I’ll drive out to that pasture and take a picture to send you. Identical.

My own artist's statement encompasses the belief that art is beauty in ordinary moments. Being gently reminded that life is full of small beauties....as simple as sitting under a copse of trees in the heat of summer, hearing the rustle of leaves in a gentle wind, or noticing an expansive blue sky or lush green pastures is worth capturing in any format, whether in the beautiful prose of a friend, or in a two dimensional format, like a painting. May we all recognize and celebrate that our lives are filled with ordinary beauty, because that, my friends, in my humble opinion, is art.