Monday, April 11, 2011

Let Things GO With The Flow

As a child vies for attention when his mother talks on the phone, my thoughts are competing for attention in my brain. With so many competing ideas in my head, formulating a single train of thought is almost impossible. One thing, does it do any good to sit here and stare at an empty computer screen when I can't think of anything (instructive, uplifting, constructive, compelling....) to say?

Today's thoughts are thoughts of introspection, and I'm not sure that you, gentle reader, actually want to go on a tour of my brain.

1. There are several instances in my life where people have believed in me more than I have. The Amazing Reese is one of those people. He daily encourages and enables me to live well.

2. Over the weekend, through the magic of facebook, I heard from a high school era friend. A wave of memories followed. It made me realize that I'm very much the same person, even though I've changed a lot.

3. Every day I make choices in how to live. For instance, every morning I choose coffee.

4. Not everyone understands or appreciates my way of living. A lot of people want me to be someone different. Why is this? Why would anyone want someone else to not be who they are?

5. Some days I don't fully understand myself. Does that matter? Do I need to understand everything?

6. I would like to have all of the health benefits of running without the actual running part.

7. It sometimes makes me sad that I don't enjoy running anymore. Then I think of all of the other things that use up time that are less physically strenuous -- like for instance, drinking coffee.

8. I love Jesus but I drink a little.

9. I'm 47. I wish I were more fit, but not enough to do anything about it. See #6 and #8.

10. Sometimes, even at artistic or creative events, I realize that I'm a little bit outside the box. Then I think that if I were in the same box as everyone else, it would be very crowded. Even though I don't mind boxes, I would prefer not to be in one.


RandyGriebenow said...

On #2 of the blog, yes honored to have been a brief part of your hs journey. Looks like you've maintained
a generous heart of curiosity and creativity. i see deeper through the layers of the girl behind the smile

on #10, GOOD ! stay out of the box
this is what I saw many years ago and makes you the mother, wife and friend that you are to those around you. THANK YOU for your blogging. thinking of now doing one of my own. "Beyond the Sunsets and Sand of Maui." it'll be a start ! Oh...but a penny for the thoughts of the #2 on above. dare ya! R.

Sarah Hazel said...

Thanks, I love blogging. It's a much better form of introspection than writing in journals, which, incidentally, I should burn. That would entail going in the attic, though, and it's hot up there.

Hawaii was a place of freedom of thought and action for me. I would like to think that I would have, by the grace of God, evolved the same way, but who knows?

The love of running was a big part of my life for a long time. It helped shape me mentally, physically, and emotionally, and yet I no longer find my identity in it. I guess I was mainly thinking about my (former) identity and considering it in relation to current (and past) pursuits and how they HAVE been fulfilling emotionally, intellectually, and physically -- just on a different level -- very humbling and yet satisfying. I'm enjoying my life.